Our mind has a task, which is to keep us alive and not make mistakes that might kill us. This task is made difficult because of changing circumstances and our changing health and needs for food, shelter, intimacy, excitement. The society most of us (that read this anyhow) live in however is based on a model where needs are expected to be met by someone as long as there is profit in it. This means other people will start to mess with your life as soon as you express a need, or show behavior you have a need. Also before you have a need, some may want to induce a need in you (advertisement) or profit soley off your looking for a solution for your need (spiritual searchers), and of course some will try to help you while knowing there is no solution to your need (mid life crisis behavior).
In this reality, where we are basically fish in a bowl, where we give off many signals about our mental and physical state all the time, we are very likely to get stuck in some kind of exploitation trajectory or another. So as soon as you search ‘Guitar solo Pink Floyd’ you fall into a category ready to expend money on a whole lot of stuff you don’t need related to guitars, Pink Floyd etc. Pop culture was really monoculture, only limited in complexity to what radio and TV at the time could promote. You can be an outlier and like Bad Brains or Frank Zappa, but then again you are quite easy to characterize.
The more you show yourself the easier it is to be characterized and economically targeted
To be correct we should perhaps investigate the need to be unique for a moment. Why do we feel this need? It is one of the basic needs of a child, to develop into a sane person a child must have some sense of individuality. There are three other factors, won’t go into them here, but of course how can you even identify yourself if you have no unique trait? But on the other hand, why would you want to be unique? I guess I have to continue this line of questioning some other time.
This post is about getting stuck. The short of it is that the economy and profit seeking people want you to get stuck. Stuck in front of your TV preferably, so you can be programmed to take initiative in aquiring goods and services that the economy offers. Stuck online so you can also be enticed by advertisements to move and behave in certain ways you may or may not enjoy (nobody cares really, its all about profits).
On top of that your mind wants to get stuck, it is looking for habits that do not need to change, that satisfy you. I always think of the mind as a gardener, and your essence being a tiny plant that needs to be tended to by the mind. The mind runs around and thinks this and that, and what it thinks doesn’t matter at all as long as the plant is happy.This is why there are so many ways to live happy lives, even as a murderous tyrant you can be pretty happy. Its all good as long as the basic needs are met.
The problem with getting stuck really is the economy, the banks that force us all to seek profit and income. That has to come from someone else, and so we basically work to take money from each other all the time. The people that are stuck are easiest to get money from, and then I mean stuck in a way that is not super profitable. Incidently it is true, people can get stuck in a profitable life. But you can’t really call that stuck. Their minds can also close down all sources of change. Still they will get assurances and confirmation that they should be happy, which doesn’t happen to people getting stuck in lives that suck.
But again the problem is that if you get stuck in our modern economy you are destined to lose all your money and hence all your options to ever get unstuck. It is like quicksand or losing your mobility, and you are aging as well. The economy is waiting for you to become more needy and has an army of solutions for you that may or may not help you live a happy life stuck where you are (getting unstuck is not profitable!). You are a sitting duck being stuck in a life that may suck.
So how to get unstuck. What if you are on a raft in a river that will ultimately dump you into the ocean to become fish food. Going with the flow is a mantra that was designed to tell you ‘get stuck’. If getting stuck is so inevitale, when is it finally ok to get stuck? We all get stuck in the end anyhow, in a coffin or urn. First the question of uniqueness should be addressed, why should we really be unique? I would say we should be ouselves, not have someone define us.
The problem with people defining us is that its a form of bullying that makes many of us conform to the definition. allowing someone to define you is already a submissive interaction. ‘You’re my son’ is fine, but ‘You’re a communist’ is not. ‘Your a tapehead’ is not. There is a subtle difference between you wanting to identify with a group because its fun and it increases social coherence and someone else wanting to define you in order to decide how to get to your money or how to exclude you from resources (the inverse strategy of profit seeking).
Best strategy : Don’t define yourself. Don’t give others a means to simplify you. Be your name to them. Of course you can’t prevent others to define you, and there’s a seemingly artificial trend of making ‘self identification’ an issue to argue about. That is not going to get you unstuck.
Once you are over what you are, you can start to dream on your own, what do you love? What world do you want to see? What if there was nobody else (besides people you want to exist) what would you strive for. We forget that to achieve a goal requires to have a goal. Also research found that distracting oneself from thinking about one’s goals is the main reason they are not achieved.
Our economy wants to put you into a consumer segment and works really hard to get you into one of the funnels. ‘audiophile’ ‘gear head’ ‘trekkie’ ‘watch collector’. There are distractions everywhere, all the time, they intrude into your life to take hold of your thoughts and insult your soul into submission. “You don’t have a life until you are on this ski slope!” “You don’t have a life until you are dining with this lady!”. Well only if you have not worked hard enough to satisfy your soul yourself. That is what this is all about. About serving and freeing your soul.
A simple rule may help : If your behavior does not allow you to change your behavior you will become more stuck. If your behavior allows you to change your behavior you will become less stuck.
So if you are sedentary and lazy, you will become more stuck, because you will find physically moving around increasingly arduous and will not do it.
If you don’t read about other thoughts than yours you will get stuck and you will not have the thoughts needed to get unstuck or change your behavior. Your soul will be waiting for something to happen but you won’t understand it or listen to it, because it doesn’t have the words to tell you want it wants. Express your goals.
If you don’t explore you will miss out on changes that may help you become happier, you may live in an artificial bubble with repetitive events you have become accustomed to, like there are so many bubbles in media land, the people that sit watching presenters talk about whatever happens in a very posh voice. You parrot what is said to not draw attention and present a posh image too and then go on being stuck.
Some people just want to be reassured they have a decent life
If you want to get unstuck you have to somehow grab the banks of the river you are floating along. Something that is real and harsh and not in your bubble. A real other person or a real event you become part of. I don’t mean the bubble events designed to reinforce your bubble existence. If you are leftist go to a right wing gathering, if you are right wing you probably aren’t reading this. Go see things for yourself. Or apply your skills in new situations. Of course its natural and valid to strive for your personal goals. Then the purpose of getting unstuck is to once again make steps on the road to achieve them. Consider who you want to bring along, what you need to bring along. Stuff can get you seriously stuck. But maybe you find some item very inspiring if it reminds you of your goals.
It is good to find others that want to get unstuck, that have a similar dream or ambition and to be ware of profit seekers who really don’t have your interest at heart. Make priority lists, short ones, so you get unstuck from habits that really don’t move you forward. A rule “don’t sit still” or “require real world effects from time spend” filters out a lot of time wasted. Using the SMART criteria ( specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound) are a tried and tested way to become more effective and efficient, just don’t use it to become the perfect econobot.
Being unhappy about your situation is not a good way to get unstuck. This is why we are presented with so many problems. They are a way to keep us in our seat and demotivated. It is hard for your mind to know what is you and what is the outside world. Because of this criminals can get away with murder as long as the can make you believe ‘we’ did it or it is ‘our’ problem. Be precise about what you are responsible for.
Blaming things for your fate is not thinking about how to improve it. Don’t.
Our mind really wants to accept responsibility for everything that happens (like children that always feel responsible for the arguments of their parents). Again, the key to achieving a goal is to think about it, to focus on it. You can’t focus on any personal goal if you are dealing with whatever happens or what you think sucks about your life. So make thinking about your goals something you want to do. This may require some mood improvement, because you may be reminded of things you have zero interest in by a feeling you seem to be stuck with. This is the biggest illusion, because you choose how you feel about things, not your body. If your feeling is terrible, simply do whatever you think is right for you anyway, even with a horrible feeling in your stomach. There is no resistance to your actions if it is only your mind that has to decide to take them, although it might seem like you are about to move a mountain. Your body and mind can create that illusion that keep you lazy on the couch while your life and dreams slip away. Don’t expect miracles, but be confident if you are doing even a simple thing that means you are no longer stuck that it is doable and you can do it.
I hope this helps.